Scared you will forget about me !

Ever had that feeling as though something has left you out of the blue without any notice. Like you own an apartment which you have rented to a nice person, and one fine day when you just go to check up on things, the apartment is empty? Things just don't make sense sometimes. And the fact is a lot of us are so used to this non sense that we start to accept it as the way things are. In fact when it makes sense thats when we freak out because all of a sudden non sense becomes the usual and sense is the unusual.

It has been this on going process of having just a few who stick by you regardless of your beliefs. And when one of these people suddenly leave your apartment with absolutely nothing left except for maybe a phone number what do you feel? Betrayal? No. Loneliness? Maybe. A fear that you are soon to be forgotten? And not that you will be forgotten as a person but being forgotten as the person you were to this individual in this apartment...................... yes !..... the memories, the nights of uncontrollable laughter, the deep discussions about what life holds etc., the support system that you were to each other.... the apartment is empty.... will I forget you? I'l try my best not to... but will you forget me?...... its one of my insecurities !

Spilt Milk.....

"Don't cry over spilt milk" is what they say. But suppose the spilt milk is tough to clean, or doesn't seem to sink through porous tiles? You guys must think I have completely lost it! Well not really. Just never thought the one think I was trying get rid off would end up being my muse. And I'm still a little shocked at the fact that it is. Just when you want it to be the least important thing in your life, it becomes the core of your expression! And it's not like it feels wrong. It feels like the most right thing in the world. If it were anything else it would just feel wrong.......

hmmm so here is to the unexpected .... Split Milk...

happy realization

Well i don't really know where to start with this one actually..... This one break that I took post my music studies in Chennai was a fantastic break. A complete rejuvenation and now its time to pull up my socks and get focussed on life. But this break taught me a lot. We went on a family vacation to London which was one of my best vacations so far. Not because London is an exciting city to be in or anything, but it was the people who we were with. We caught up with my cousins who are from my dad's side of the family, after ages. And catching up lead us to spending almost our complete holiday with them because they were that fun. We felt the LOVE . :) ..... then i went back to Abu-Dhabi to catch up with an old friend. Meeting this friend of mine led me to meeting a bunch of fantastic people. With whom I ended up spending most evenings with. These guys turned out to be more than just friends. They were people who you could talk about any sort of shit with. People who genuinely become a weird sort of support system. Even though we hung out for about a month. People who pay attention to detail. And thats when realization hits ! It's never about how long you have known the people to make them some of the closest people to you, its about the impact they have on you in the shortest amount of time.

So here is to the siblings in London and the gang Abu-Dhabi ... CHEERS

[Dedicated to Quintito, Kripsy Cream, Neh, Jeej, Pooski, Shazzy,Hot Chocolate,Tammy,Muscles,Fatts,Mr.Hotel and of course Geek .... love you guys]

One Month and still counting???

Let me tell you a story. My story. I have/had a friend. Lets call him M. M is/was possibly one of my funnest friends to be around. We met out of sheer desperation you could say, considering we never really found people in our class who were less up tight/conservative, however snobbish that may sound. We found in each other open mindedness and no judgement. Which worked fine for us considering our ridiculous pasts and current beliefs. I bet if anyone is reading this is probably thinking this is going to end up as a love story. Well you're wrong. This friendship was like any other friendship between two people. We were mean to each other, we were rude to each other, we teased each other [in the most non sexual way that is], we laughed hard at stupid things, we'd make dirty meanings of things that we said and on the other hand we discussed politics, we exchanged thoughts on religion,faith and spirituality, we spoke about India and homosexuality, we shared similar interests in music and exchanged knowledge about music that each of us didn't know, we are/were great companions !

And today I sit in the dark in my room on the 11th of July 2010, writing a blog, and it's been a month since I last spoke to M. Not like our last conversation was pleasant. It was on my birthday and M was the only one who did not wish me but he did exchange some mindless words with me. To him they were probably not mindless but to me they were.

M is/was probably one of the most mature level headed people I know/knew, contrary to what other people thought of course. And I learnt a lot from him , contrary to what I thought would happen. "It's all awesome !" , he'd tell me with a smile, that is his punch line. And I thought I was an optimistic person .

We went through some rough times too, don't get me wrong. We had misunderstandings [or as I would like to believe they were], we fought and did not speak to each other and we even yelled at each other on the phone and we suffered a tragedy together, but we got through it. That is the kind of friends we became in such short time. But I never thought we would have a falling out for this long and at this age. So much for thinking about maturity and putting egos aside.If someone comes up to me and asked me about M, I would tell them that we are not talking and that I do not intend on keeping in touch with M. The reason why I have said is/was, know/knew etc is because how much ever I do not want to get back in touch because of my so called EGO, deep down inside I know I still have hope. But is it worth having hope for such a person ?

So its been a month, should I keep counting?

sudden need to blog

This is something I never really thought I'd do. Blog. But suddenly I feel the need to. Like as though having sites such as Facebook and Twitter aren't enough. I even feel silly right now doing this. Considering this is my first blog.

It has come to my attention that blogs are not all that bad. Initially when the whole concept of blogging was out, I must admit that I were one of the skeptics who thought " who cares for what you or anyone else blogs" , but after reading some pretty decent blogs i have come to the conclusion that its not that bad if tastefully done. So the question is , will I tastefully blog? Maybe I will maybe I wont. :P