Chapter 1 done

I'm shutting my mind out like a book,
The chapter is over,
So please don't look.
The words, drip down the wall,
To stain my heart,
And make me feel small.

Show me your face you crazy liar,
While we look at you for hope,
I'm the one changing a tier.
Blinded by words and deeds,
You lay my hand on a book,
Only to break my heart, and mislead.

Ink drowning in my tears,
Yes you fool,
I am filled with fear.
Allow me to tell you,
That today, I sit on a fence,
Heaven or hell, where are you?

Shadows

Bring it down to my feet,
lift me as I speak,
Hold my glance
Take a chance
and leave.

Little crystals in the air,
Floating ghosts everywhere,
Footprints in the sky,
Only to swell the heart
and die.

Two way streets,
With running trees,
Catch my breath,
Before I leap,
To get cut, scrapped
and weep.

In an ocean of emptiness.

The worst nightmare comes true

And suddenly you feel like a building with no foundation

About to crash to ground

With nothing to break your fall

Nothing to hold you

Nothing to catch you

Your hands feel numb

Your eyes cannot cry

A part of the person you are is lost

It's an emptiness 

That just cannot be filled

That will be this huge black hole in your heart

With time we learn to bury the pain and move on

And then just when you least expect it 

A flood of memories , conversations and love come gushing in

You want to laugh and cry at the same time

You want to break something and scream

You want to curl up and just weep till you go to sleep

And before you know it you are back to normal

You are doing what you are supposed to do

The black hole has gotten smaller

I have so much to tell you and so much to show you

I have so many questions 

I have so much of love to give

I have so much to learn

and in this ocean of emptiness.... You beat through my soul.

Funny Ferris Wheel

Okay, ten months and still counting. Its been about ten months since I got to this glorious city Bombay. Yes and I say Bombay because I have always known of it as Bombay. Every summer vacation of mine was spent in this city,which was the monsoon season in Bombay. So we would spend a good month and a half here with our grandparents. I never once thought I would land up in this city let alone venture the thought of this city being a permanent base for me (well at least for now). I've lived in five cities so far in my life, Kuwait, Abu-Dhabi, Bangalore, Chennai and now Bombay, and Bombay just stands out, like this huge bee hive of buzzing people.

There is something about this city that no other city in India has. How ever fast this city is, it's fun, versatile, spirited, and a complete cocktail of cultures. When I first moved here I didn't really think I would survive too long, but to my luck I started meeting people in the tiny little indie music industry that we have here. And they are probably the reason I got motivated. You see people here who are struggling to do what they believe in and survive somehow. Everyone will bitch about the rents and how expensive it is to stay here but inevitably they manage. And that's what keeps me going. The fact that there are people who are not willing to give up on their dreams regardless. And thats the way it should be :) 

Scared you will forget about me !

Ever had that feeling as though something has left you out of the blue without any notice. Like you own an apartment which you have rented to a nice person, and one fine day when you just go to check up on things, the apartment is empty? Things just don't make sense sometimes. And the fact is a lot of us are so used to this non sense that we start to accept it as the way things are. In fact when it makes sense thats when we freak out because all of a sudden non sense becomes the usual and sense is the unusual.

It has been this on going process of having just a few who stick by you regardless of your beliefs. And when one of these people suddenly leave your apartment with absolutely nothing left except for maybe a phone number what do you feel? Betrayal? No. Loneliness? Maybe. A fear that you are soon to be forgotten? And not that you will be forgotten as a person but being forgotten as the person you were to this individual in this apartment...................... yes !..... the memories, the nights of uncontrollable laughter, the deep discussions about what life holds etc., the support system that you were to each other.... the apartment is empty.... will I forget you? I'l try my best not to... but will you forget me?...... its one of my insecurities !

Spilt Milk.....

"Don't cry over spilt milk" is what they say. But suppose the spilt milk is tough to clean, or doesn't seem to sink through porous tiles? You guys must think I have completely lost it! Well not really. Just never thought the one think I was trying get rid off would end up being my muse. And I'm still a little shocked at the fact that it is. Just when you want it to be the least important thing in your life, it becomes the core of your expression! And it's not like it feels wrong. It feels like the most right thing in the world. If it were anything else it would just feel wrong.......

hmmm so here is to the unexpected .... Split Milk...

happy realization

Well i don't really know where to start with this one actually..... This one break that I took post my music studies in Chennai was a fantastic break. A complete rejuvenation and now its time to pull up my socks and get focussed on life. But this break taught me a lot. We went on a family vacation to London which was one of my best vacations so far. Not because London is an exciting city to be in or anything, but it was the people who we were with. We caught up with my cousins who are from my dad's side of the family, after ages. And catching up lead us to spending almost our complete holiday with them because they were that fun. We felt the LOVE . :) ..... then i went back to Abu-Dhabi to catch up with an old friend. Meeting this friend of mine led me to meeting a bunch of fantastic people. With whom I ended up spending most evenings with. These guys turned out to be more than just friends. They were people who you could talk about any sort of shit with. People who genuinely become a weird sort of support system. Even though we hung out for about a month. People who pay attention to detail. And thats when realization hits ! It's never about how long you have known the people to make them some of the closest people to you, its about the impact they have on you in the shortest amount of time.

So here is to the siblings in London and the gang Abu-Dhabi ... CHEERS

[Dedicated to Quintito, Kripsy Cream, Neh, Jeej, Pooski, Shazzy,Hot Chocolate,Tammy,Muscles,Fatts,Mr.Hotel and of course Geek .... love you guys]